Do not Remember to Forget

Diane Sollee of the Coalition for Marriage and Family reports a powerful fact concerning conflict in marriage: couples who are happy and stay married have the same number of disagreements and conflicts as couples who are unhappy and get divorced. So it is not the absence of conflict that preserves marriages, but the ability to manage conflict when it happens.

What does it mean to "manage conflict"?

It certainly means practicing the kind of self-control that keeps conflicts from mushrooming into hurtful and divisive standoffs. But it also means knowing what to do with hurt feelings, anger, disappointment, and dashed expectations. It means, in other words, knowing how to forgive and forget.

But what does that mean?

Emotional hurt and tension is almost impossible to forget; the harder we try, the more we remember. Therefore, couples have to remember to forget. They have to act like God, who chooses not to hold against us what He knows about us. 

If you are holding something against your spouse, a family member or a friend, why not choose to forget it?

You may never forget how you've been hurt, but you can choose to forget about it.

Jeremiah 31:34 (ESV) says:
"And no longer shall each one teach his neighbor and each his brother, saying, ‘Know the LORD,’ for they shall all know me, from the least of them to the greatest, declares the LORD. For I will forgive their iniquity, and I will remember their sin no more."  

Post a Comment